Random rambling.

Well, I feel like I need to get something out, but I don't know exactly what. So I think I'll just ramble on here for a bit and hopefully what I feel like needs to get out does. As such, some of the ramble might not be about BIID, but maybe life in general and other things.

Yes, I do realize that it seems if some of (if not all of) my opinions and takes on thing can be a bit controversial, even rub some peoples nerves the wrong way. I try to be tactful when I give my opinions, but I will be the first to admit that it could be better done, and I need to (and am) working on it. However I don't plan on being 'politically correct' in my proceeding rambles, and I hope that no one will take offense. I may also refer to biid as if it only applied to that amputee side of thing, and I'd hope that people take note that biid is more than just amputees stuff. The reasoning for doing so with biid is because that is how it is currently affecting me. Also I may use terms that might be more better described with another term.

Linguistics.

Ah, such a fascinating field. A fairly complex one at that, but nearly everyone has took it for granted.

Linguistics, is such an enthralling field for me, and yet full of so many questions.Although I use the term "enthralling" quite loosely, as it is technically impossible to be enthralled with anything, while still having unresolved/ineffective treated biid.

One of those questions is how does, or how did one person in their own language learn the language of another. With no knowledge whatsoever of the other language. And no inherent or well defined middle language to work with.

My accomplished BIID 'desires'.

I don't know if to say, not wanting any teeth would necessarily qualify as biid. But I also don't see why not.

So I guess, I should state what  my biid desires or needs are (or were), like I've previously stated somewhere that one of them were (and remain to be) a left above the knee amputee, about just under half way up the thigh. Another one was to not have my teeth, at least the majority of them.

I say was one of my intense desires and often thought about, is that I do not have those anymore, in regards to my teeth. How'd I get rid of those desires and thoughts?

An often asked FAQ.

But, seemingly, rarely answered.

So I'll attempt to answer them, of course as it applies to me and only me, as that is all I can do.

The irony...

The more I talk/type about biid, the better it feels, in regards to the biid feeling.

However, the more I talk/type about it, the stronger, and more intense those feelings become.

To the point of being overbearing, for example, I haven't slept, in about three days, neither I have ate nor drank anything (not even water) in those same three days.

Yet, again I ask how can this be healthy? How can this be doing no harm?

Sadly, the same thing seems to have happened with

The biid hierarchy..

Not that I'm trying to establish one, just that of what are my opinions from what I see and feel.

It seems that the amputee "biiders,” at least the unresolved ones.

It seem they have things worse of than those of say people, with  paraplegic biid feeling.

An Eternity.

I've often wondered to myself, would I by happy with having a left leg for an eternity?

Which is usually after some often long times of deep and pondering thoughts and doing nothing else but thinking, often reaching up to eight hours or more, sometime the whole day and night. The answer seems to always come back a resounding:

What about the cost to society?

What about the savings to society?

What would having the surgery to rectify the issues with biid cost society? Or along those lines.

How about another way of looking at it, what has biid cost me? In short a lot, of both priceless and being able to put a price on some things. Not only, that but also what is having unresolved biid already costing society?

Biid, a sexual fetish?

Why do people think that biid relates to sexual thing?

I don't know, but I can only guess.

Of which is, as I've noticed, is that some of those with biid can only begin to verbalize their innermost desire, and constant inkling, at or around the age of where sexuality often comes into play (i.e. puberty, soon before, during, and soon after).

A 'chilling' question.

I've often wondered if other people with biid share some of my experiences.

Well, that is a bit of a stretch since I didn't know biid existed as such until a few days ago, but that's aside the point.

With me, I want or even need to have me left leg removed about halfway up the thigh.

And for an example, anywhere below that line seems to always feel quite a bit colder than

A few random thoughts.

Just a few random  thoughts that I have, and all are relentless and often reoccurring. Some are questions I’ve no answers for.

I’ll just sort of list them out:

BIID or wannabes?

Are people with BIID merely wannabes?

At first glance, it would appear as if it is so.

Wannabes want to have the said condition, likewise with people with biid.

I think I'll define wannabes as people who want the impairment for no other reasons then just that, a want, and by extension this does not include people with biid.

But I think that is where the  similarities end, and the differences begin.

A public dilemma...

Most of you who probably end up reading this are mostly likely to be familiar with biid, whether you already know about it, or are a person with biid, whether you actually know you've biid or not.

In order for treatment to progress. Well, more of in order to get any treatment whatsoever, especially effective treatment. Biid must be out in the public eye,

A double edge sword..

Guilt, shame, depression, suppression, turmoil, acceptance.


At first glance those words would appear to not have much in common. Other than their feelings and things that lead to one another and back again.

However I'm going to try to put those in perspective as they seem to often be with biid,

The Chicken or the Egg paradox

I'm sure many are familiar with the old paradox of did the chicken or the egg come first?

Some say the chicken came first because it had to nurture the egg, others say the chicken had to come from the egg, still other says...

But this blog nor post is about attempting to resolve that specific paradox. It is, however going to discuss a similar paradox concerning biid.

Amputate a healthy limb?

"I wouldn't amputate a healthy limb"
"I'm not amputating your healthy limb"
"Why do you want a healthy limb removed"
etc...

Those statement are oft used, in refusing to amputate the limb of a person with biid.

However, there are a few problems and issues I've with those statements.

In regards to those who desire other things than amputation...

My theory on biid sufferer who desire paraplegia, blindness, or deafness sits on the idea that the brain doesn't know what to do with the received information. (as briefly, and probably incoherently touched on in my previous/first post)

Again, this will probably be hard to coherently describe. Especially since this is a subject I'm not too familiar on, and my only experience is my sometimes vivid imagination, with sometimes a very over-analytical brain. Which is a combination that can lead to some very strange, and often long ideas.

Since I'm not too familiar with, especially not with first hand experience as I've with my subject of the previous post. This post will probably be comparatively brief.

For those who desire blindness or deafness as the case may be, my theory is

My supposition on body integrity identity disorder (biid)

I'll just dive right in and get to the point I'd like to make, which at first may make not much sense at all to some.

Right now it doesn't even seem to make much sense to me, but I plead with you to bear with me for the next few minutes while I attempt to make it make sense.

Right now, my fairly uneducated theory about what causes, at least the desire to have a limb amputated due to biid is.