I don't know if to say, not wanting any teeth would necessarily qualify as biid. But I also don't see why not.
So I guess, I should state what my biid desires or needs are (or were), like I've previously stated somewhere that one of them were (and remain to be) a left above the knee amputee, about just under half way up the thigh. Another one was to not have my teeth, at least the majority of them.
I say was one of my intense desires and often thought about, is that I do not have those anymore, in regards to my teeth. How'd I get rid of those desires and thoughts?
Well it wasn't any of today's' conventional therapy, nor prescription, nor some of even yesterday's conventional therapy. It was the removal of those teeth.
It was actually quite comparatively simple, never really brush your teeth for18 years, nor go to a dentist all that often. My teeth were finally in such disrepair and that I finally found a dentists who would be willing to perform the extractions on someone relatively young (23 year of age).
I now only have four teeth left.
Was I fully aware of the implications when I choose to finally get rid of my teeth rather than have them repaired. Yes, I believe and know that I was fully aware. Such as the receding of the gums, the bone and the jaw line. Such as appearing 10 years older, in some often just a year, and of the sunken face appearance. Not being able to masticate as efficiently, or at all without dentures. And the fact the dentures an cause some serious sore that would inhibit masticating at all. And that those sores could get done to the bone, and possibly even become infected, possibly even resulting in an operation and removal of some parts if not the jaw bone, even the process of the extraction can result in this. I was also aware that dentures can cause a bitter taste in ones mouth. That they could also effect how food taste, and the ability to taste it. I was also ready and knew that I might not be able to chew or eat some of my favorite foods again. Than there's the possible (negative) effect on the cardiovascular system and it's health. There's also the possibility, albeit seemingly rare, of death from the extractions, and of other things associate with them.
And the list goes on and on and on (read/sing to the tune of the never ending song, this song goes on and on and on and on and on and etc..) . But I was ready for it. I was ready for the risks and effects, even the possible fatal one. All in exchange for that hoped for shred of relief from that of which is associated with biid, and the confidence that having one inner self also bee ones outer self.
Am I happier now? Am I having less thoughts and desires for the removal of my teeth any more? Do I have at least some more self confidence?
Yes, Yes, and Yes. In regards to the teeth that is.
Am I eating more, am I eating what I used to avoid, am I eating more of the things I used to not like (and actually liking them?
Again, yes, yes, yes and a resounding yes. The eating more is not in an unhealthy amount, rather it is now a healthy amount, and more often with the right foods.
Am I finding masticating/eating easier than with my actual teeth, are you brushing you last four teeth? Yes and yes.
Am I actually going out and doing more than before my teeth were removed?
Yes, I'd have to say that I am, and I am enjoying doing it more.
Any regrets?
I know that this is probably cliché from those with BIID who've actually acquired their impairment(s), the only one is not doing it sooner.
Are you embarrassed to go out into public without your dentures in?
No, I am not. And why would I be embarrassed for being myself inside and out. I've even had no problems taking them when going through security, even if in front of a long line. I'm not even concerned if they were to fall out in public.
How has it affected my desire to have my left leg remove?
It's actually intensified it some and possibly made it a bit more depressing.
But I think the increase intensity is more of because the thoughts of the teeth aren't there anymore, freeing up more 'mental bandwidth' for the thoughts of removing the leg to now use up.
As for why it's more depressing (aside from the increase presence in thought). I would guess that it's also due to the fact that removing a leg, or getting a leg removed, is not as simple nor painless as not brushing ones teeth.
And the knowing of what increased energy, what increased self confidence, what decrease mental anguish and decrease in protruding thoughts (non existent whatsoever) related to the finally have one of the desired impairments, brings in finally acquiring a desired/need impairment. And knowing that it is not as easily achievable with the removal of a limb, can be quite depressing.
Have I had any other thoughts or desires to acquire any other impairment, other than the teeth, and your left leg?
Absolutely none whatsoever, not even in passing.
However when I do purposely, and I have to really for myself to, think about the other impairments such as me not having an arm, or two, or not even having a right leg, I find myself, for a lack of a better term horrified with those aspects. I know that can seem a bit ironic to some.
On, a similar side tangent, in that of being fully aware of the possible complication with the loss of teeth, I'm also equally aware of the complications and difficulties when, hopefully, as safely as possible when, and not an if, nor as unsafe as currently possible (in regards to the advancement of our current medicine, but not attitude wise), that I will encounter on a daily basis. Such as the possible difficultly in walking 'normally,' the difficultly in going up or down stair, the difficulty of even going up/down 'handicap "accessible" ramps,'
The difficulties in going up and down hills, even comparatively mild incline, and I fully expect to fall flat on my rear or face at one point in time or another, even possibly/probably in public, maybe even with a big crowd nearby. Possibly even having to result to using crutches the rest of my life (or even eternity depending on your beliefs). If I'm able to get a prosthetic for it, I'm also are of the possible, probable, eventual sore that will comes along with the prosthetic, the possibility of having the prosthetic break, without having another assistive device, along ways from home and/or in public, and in having to deal the mobility issues that would arise from such a circumstance. The difficultly in even just stepping up over a curb, or of off a sidewalk, the difficultly to walk on rough, and/or muddy terrain.
Again, the effects on the circulatory system. Including increased risk for heart disease, and heart attacks, even strokes, and tia‘s, and even pulmonary embolisms, deep venous thrombosis, blood clots, clots through the kidneys, etc.. Some of which are often more fatal than not.
Increased risk for infections and diseases, that may require more operations, and possibly requiring the removal of other limbs, and even possibly being fatal. And the resulting difficulties that would arise from such a thing. Possible chest infections, angina, bed sore. The failing of the limb (and other things) to completely heal or breakdown due to a multitude of circumstances including but not limited to a fall, infection, or even poor blood supply. Contractures could develop in the hip joint, and will not bend or straighten, and it can be impossible to correct, and can often result in the impossibility of fitting a prosthetic
The difficultly or inability to easily get up in the middle of the night and go relieve one’s self, the difficultly to getting up in the morning, the difficultly or inability to go out and do things others usually take for granted. The difficulty or inability to carry some items, or large amounts of items, a possible phantom limb syndrome, and resulting pain from it. A shorter lifespan. The often long and intense physical therapy. The possible dependence on a wheelchair, either for life or at temporary (and often intermittent) times throughout said life. The difficulty or impossibility of being able to stand or walk for any period of time, whether it be a long time, or a short time. The risk of being fatal in near any one, or at least quite a few of the listed (and unlisted) difficulties/complications. I'm also aware of the (daily) care required after such an operation, and the time length of time that it can take, and that it is a lifetime affair.
Again the list goes on and on, and is no where near complete, not even complete of the complication and difficulties that I‘ve long contemplated and thought about.
I’d have to say if that someone were truly insane (or “mental”), that they would not have even considered any of the complications (nor being able to actually do so).
-David
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